Expectations

Why do you open the door only to slam it in my face? I yanked up more weeds.

I don’t understand. Dirt flew.

When I saw her name on that blog after reading the article saying she was accepting submissions, I thought it was a sign from you. My cat scurried away after a dirt clod hit him in the face.

Why was I rejected again? I tossed the pile of weeds into the box and moved down a few feet.

Slowly my anger and disappointment began to subside. I pulled more weeds as I continued my conversation with God.

It had to be from you, didn’t it? As my anger slowly faded His voice began to come through.
Was that the direction I told you to go?

No. I know I was supposed to write another story and submit it elsewhere, and no, I didn’t do that but… I stopped. But what? I asked myself. I’d just been reading in Genesis where Jacob had settled in Shechem instead of returning to Bethel as he had promised God. I saw that Jacob’s delayed obedience had cost him and his family dearly and here I was doing the same thing. I didn’t want to do what God had told me. I wanted to rely on the work I had already done to be published; I didn’t want to do more work. I was doing the same thing that Jacob had done. Even though God had blessed Jacob tremendously, still Jacob did not follow God’s plans.

Often we will do what we want and expect God to bless it. We seek and look for “signs” that point to what we want and then are disappointed when they don’t work out. All the while our heavenly Father is right there holding the blessing He has for us, waiting patiently for our obedience. How long will I make Him wait?

Was there a time when you expected God to bless your plans?